Ullapool on my mind

Floyd and I went to the Scottish Highlands this past weekend and we had a wonderful time...but I have a few little bitches that I should get out of the way, and then we’ll be done with them. You see, everything went according to plan except for....the airline neglecting to send Floyd’s backpack on our flight (and the next flight wasn’t for two days) AND his backpack had our tent AND we had been planning on camping AND the camera broke on the 2nd day. So there...hmph....got that out of the way. But hey, we were in Scotland....how bad could it be? (actually, our woes were beat by the guy from the States that had come all this way to play at St. Andrews golf course [aka golf mecca] and the airlines failed to send his clubs....sadness and woe were most certainly upon him.)

We flew into Inverness, rented a car then drove west (completely skipping Loch Ness, even though, as a kid, I was TOTALLY into the Loch Ness monster AND Bigfoot...I’m still into Bigfoot, but not Nessie). We drove straight to Ullapool (go on, say it....”oolapool”...it makes your mouth do funny things and it makes you laugh like you’re being tickled), a little fishing village on the west coast. Imagine our surprise when we saw two big ole cruise ships parked in the teeny-tiny harbor (look at the picture...then imagine cruise ships in the background...wuh?) and loads of peeps hanging out all over town. This is why we’ve chosen to only take one vacation during the European “high season” because everybody and their dog travels at this time of year and everywhere you go, even the most remote parts of northern Scotland (which Ullapool isn’t), will have a surprising number of people in it. They’re all hanging out, eating soft ice cream cones, and wearing those horrible, clamdigger length pants that are all the rage over here right now (which make even tall, skinny people look short and dumpy – even Grandma and Grandpa are wearing them...argh). But, Ullapool ruling the way it does, the tour boats left, we got the BEST fish and chips we’ve ever had (which is a really big deal for me) and we got the last room at a funky B&B...with a view...AND the most amazingly, funky, swirly carpet you’ve ever seen in your life (sorry, no pics – but think really bad, early 70’s, in pink and green and burgundy).

From Ullapool (say it again) we drove north and stopped at the Knockan Crag interpretive center in the Inverpolly Nature Reserve, which describes the geology of the area and how the geologists that did their thing in this area discovered that Scotland actually has more in common with the Appalachian Range than with England (geologically speaking, of course). How crazy is that?

There’s this one spot on the trail where you can span 500 million years of time with your hand. That’s what I’m doing in this picture (and, yes, those are binoculars around my neck and a bird book in my pants...and, yes, I’m a total bird geek). It was one of the best interpretive centers we’ve ever been to and, once again, that’s a big deal to me (and, yes, this means I’m a total geek – but I can also wear killer, black boots so it’s OK).

Then we headed out to the coast, where, after asking at a few places, we found Charlie, the guy that’ll take you out to Handa Island on his boat. Handa Island is a great place to go if you’re a bird geek or if you’re married to a bird geek and you want to make them happy (thank you Floyd).

It was a bit late in the season, so we didn’t see any puffins or guillemots but we saw loads of nesting great and arctic skuas (I know some [or at least one] of you care about this stuff), kittiwakes, and fulmars. I even found an eggshell and managed to get it home, mostly, in one piece. I was sad that we didn’t see puffins...I mean, only really grumpy people wouldn’t care to see a puffin...but the timing just wasn’t right...(heavy sigh). Oh, and this is where our camera broke so there will be no more pictures...at least until we can get the disposable camera developed. It’s a good thing this place isn’t very picturesque...(shuh).


We, once again, lucked out and found a funky little B&B (where the carpeting was equally fascinating) in the wonderful village of Durness, where John Lennon used to holiday. I can see why. You feel like you’re at the tip of the world and still, there are gorgeous, sandy beaches and crystal clear water. If you could ignore the misty rain, cold winds and barren landscape, it’d be just like the tropics. It was here that we ran into a German couple that were even more geeky than I am and they mentioned that they actually saw puffins on Handa Island. Loads of them in fact AND they showed me the fantastic pictures on their (functioning) camera as proof (not to rub it in or anything). They told us that another bird geek they had run into had recently seen some puffins off the nearby peninsula, Faraid Head. So, guess where Floyd and I went after breakfast? Floyd was a little grumpy about it because it was totally against our better judgment. We had a looong way to drive that day, we didn’t know what the roads were going to be like, this just wasn’t on the itinerary, and Floyd could see the whole framework of our existence beginning to crumble away. But, yes, we made the hike and, yes, we saw puffins (and, no, we did not perish). They were really far away but you could still see what they were...and they were really cute...and they were puffins. Joy.... Sometimes it’s good to make decisions with your heart.

After we loaded up on mind-blowingly delicious, handmade chocolates at this great place in Durness, we headed inland on a single lane road, through some of the most remote landscape I’ve ever had the pleasure of venturing through. Actually, there used to be people here, but in the mid-1800s the Chieftains decided it would be more profitable to graze sheep on their land, rather than let poor people live there so they kicked folks off the land...usually in a mean and nasty way. As one gentleman told us, “if ye’ve a Highland bone in yer body it’ll make yer blood boil.” The Clearances, as they’re referred to, left this area mostly vacant. Even the sheep turned out to not be as lucrative as they thought, so now many of the landowners make their money from people who like to shoot things in remote, pristine areas (not that I have an opinion on the matter).

Once the highlands spit us out onto the east coast we made our way to Dornoch, where people were generally snotty to us...so we headed further south to the lovely little village of Tain, where we, once again, completely lucked out and found a charming, flowery wallpapered B&B, where you just wanted to call the lady of the house “Grandma” because it was all just too warm and cozy.

Scotland is an amazingly beautiful place, with incredibly gracious and kind people. There was no litter. The roads were safe. We had perfect eggs every morning and we want to live there.