Edinburgh - Top Five Fave

Floyd and I were in Edinburgh over the weekend with our good friend Pamela Anderson. Yes, THE Pamela Anderson. Floyd knows her from graduate school. Did you know she has a Ph.D. in Physical Chemistry. Well she does, and she’s fun to boot! Vivacious, witty, smart...always got career advice for Floyd. You’d never imagine it would you? One more reason to never judge a book by its cover. So we were kicking it in Edinburgh this weekend and these are just five things that lifted my kilt...





1. It’s in Scotland. Let’s get something straight right off the bat. I LOVE Scotland. If somebody asked, “Hey, do you want to live in this tiny shack on this windswept highland hill in the midst of all these sheep?”...I think I’d say yes. I love the people (even dullards seem to have a sparkle in their eye), the landscape (breathtaking at almost every turn), the attitude (somber yes, but you’ll still get smiles on a cloudy day). I realize that these things are all part of the tiresome Scottish branding, but there’s a reason for that. They're true. And then there’s the little things that can make such a difference (this is the part where you need to remember where I currently live). Scotland has an infrastructure that you can depend on, they have rubbish bins at logical locations (oh, here she goes...), they have roads that you can drive on, as well as safe pedestrian areas, they have signs (yes, I know, actual street signs...it’s heavenly) and, in general, people appear to care about the environment that they live in...and...and...(the veins in my temple are becoming engorged and are pulsating rapidly). I could go on but it would just lead to dangerous and passionate territory. Suffice it to say that Ireland and Scotland are quite different and I can appreciate those differences.


2. The people have Scottish accents. Some have described it as “thick-tongued” but I disagree wholeheartedly. Sure, there’s the drunk gal from the tenements that could make you tilt your head a bit, but that's the exception. I find it lilting and full of character. They actually do say “wee”. (Overheard while walking down the street...a couple of young lads passed a gal in a VERY short skirt. As they turned to watch her go, one of them said, “That was a wee one...”)







3. Men in kilts. I must have a thing for knees because I’m very appreciative of the kilt. I certainly appreciate its regional significance and all that but, frankly, that’s not what makes me smile. I don’t even care what they’re wearing underneath. Floyd would undoubtedly rock a kilt (the mans got gams) and I’d love to get him into one of those utilikilts, but no. Not gonna happen. I can understand though, because some of the dudes that wear them...look really stupid. It certainly requires a certain “je ne sais quoi” that not everybody possesses. I think Floyd's got it, but maybe he's just not ready for that much...freedom. So I appreciate the kilt from afar.


4. The sound of bagpipes. I know, I’m just listing off all the highlights from a Scotland brochure but, I’m telling you, there’s a reason why these things are used to lure people here. They’ve certainly got my number. I have a sad affinity to the sound of the bagpipe. It always makes me cry. I don’t know when it started because it’s just always been this way. I was once sitting at a great British pub in Portland and a parade of bagpipers began to make their way through the place. I remember being overcome with emotion at the first notes. It hits me like that. Very suddenly. So, I'm at this bar and I hear that unmistakable high-pitched drone and I feel a pang in my heart. Then all sorts of forgotten sadness starts welling up and bubbling out. And then I’m a crying mess. I’ve learned to control it a little better but I always have to fight back the tears when I hear a bagpipe. My Mom just recently told me that she cries at the sound of bagpipes too. What’s up with that?


5. OK, you can all guess what No. 5 is. What’s the only thing I haven't mentioned from the Scotland brochure? That’s right. Haggis. This was our 3rd trip to Scotland and I’ve managed to avoid it thus far, but Floyd felt the inspiration and suddenly there was a pile of it sitting on our table (along with neeps and tatties of course). You have to remember that this is the guy that was a vegetarian up until 18 months ago. I admire him for it. He still respects the animal enough to believe that, if you’re going to eat it, you should eat the whole thing. Don’t let anything go to waste. I believe that too...intellectually. However, when faced with an unusual animal bit, I generally pass. So here’s Floyd swooning over his haggis. It’s his first and he’s LOVing it. So I do a dainty dive with the tip of my fork and...down the hatch. Hm. Tasty. Surprisingly tasty actually. And it didn’t even feel gross in my mouth like I thought it would. Kind of like a spicy bulgar/oatmeal thing. I just educated myself about what it’s actually made out of and, you know what? I’d still eat it again.

Of course Pamela thought it was all quite disgusting and immediately began strategizing her anti-haggis campaign.


So that was my brain dump of the kilt-lifting, top-five fave for Edinburgh. What did you learn about Edinburgh? Nothing I’m afraid, which is a shame because it’s really a great city. One of the best we’ve been to in Europe. Cool castle, well-preserved and amazing architecture, photo ops galore, friendly folks, monuments to cute little dogs, some amazing food. Lots of old world charm without the shit-shit and kitsch. Really a great place. Go there and see for yourself.